This TWW Update Brought to You By Ellen & the 2014 Oscars

Hey team.  So we left off at our latest attempt in OBM (Operation Baby Makin') by way of ovulation monitoring including several ultrasounds to measure follicles and blood work to measure LH (Luteinizing Hormone) and Progesterone.  We got the thumbs up on Thursday the 20th that I had a baller follicle and my Be-uterine lining was also stellar.  Then Meg shot me in the stomach... with a needle of HCG to help induce ovulation within 36 hours and on Saturday the 22nd we inseminated!

The past two weeks have been as rough as any TWW we've experienced.  I spent the first 7 days telling myself every second that I need to remember that I took a shot that injected me with a pregnancy hormone and that "those feelings" aren't real.  And then obsessively Google how long it takes to get that mess out of your system so you can cave to the early testing we inevitably cave to.  I chose to think as positively as possible this cycle.  We did EVERYTHING we could possibly do other than IVF to make this cycle as optimal as possible so I chose to think that we ARE going to be pregnant.  Well, that is until one day during the cycle- maybe

hormones, maybe I was hangry- when the thought weaseled into my mind, "You might not be- again." And then a negative pregnancy test image popped into my head.  That was my version of saying "that Scottish play" in a theater.  It took me days to come out of that funk.  But, again, I'm forcing myself to think positively.  Reminding myself we did everything possible to make this happen and, also, that timing things just right to make a baby is harder than that Flappy Bird game.

I have also been communicating more with friends who are going through this/have been through this- thanks ladies, you're all gems.  I can't stress this enough- if you are choosing to go through this venture it is beyond necessary to have proper support.  Because you can't have booze.  Don't get me wrong, Meg is my rock.  But sometimes you need to discuss irrational feelings with another person who has been through this Rock n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith-like journey.  Or when you need to talk about bodily functions that would only chip away at the incredibly sexy image of myself I have

Potential Baby Name?

meticulously crafted in Meg's mind <sarcasm>.  And sometimes you let your crazy emotions join forces with your positive vibes and start talking about things that you would normally say fall into the "jinx bucket" of conversations, like potential baby names.  But with your Soul Cysters (I can take no credit for that one- thanks internet) it's totally kosher.  But really.  Find your outlets.

So now we wait until Friday morning for blood work.  So pray to whatever deity you believe in that we get good news.

TWW, The Sequel: Reloaded & Back With a Vengeance

Watching for ovulation.

So we were inseminated on Friday.  This cycle was a little different than the last.  Typically, when using Clearblue Advanced Digital Ovulation tests, you get 1-2 days of a flashing smiley face telling you that your fertility is high (for straighties who get their "junk" for free it means you can start trying now to optimize your window) which serves as a heads up.  After the 2 day flashing smiley you then should receive a solid smiley face indicating you are at your peak and should ovulate sometime in the next 12-24 hours.  Well I didn't receive my solid smiley face until I'd had 4 days of flashing smileys which really threw me for a loop.  After much research (internet you are both my bff and my worst enemy) I learned that Clomid can lead to jacked up readings on your OPK tests.  Shit.

How I feel about stressing over sperm
motility. #really?!

We hope, much like anyone else in this process, that we got the timing right.  We also learned that the specimen that was thawed for our Friday insemination was lower motility.  Not below standards, but not super high.  Our fertility doctor said that it was fine to use and after last insemination where we ended up combining two samples (which didn't work any better) we thought it would be fine.

We are now on day 4 of our TWW (two week wait) and it is so much different this time.  Last time I thought any little move would "shake things loose" and had an initial fear of peeing because "what if I peed it out"... If you haven't figured this out by now, trying to have a baby makes you cray cray.  I'm going to reiterate this for anyone else in the TWW reading this.  There are no definitive signs during this time to tell you you're pregnant.  So, no, it's just gas from that burrito you ate.  I don't mean to be an asshat, but I spent many a night scouring the internet with the same questions.  I also am ashamed of how little I knew about my own female anatomy.

It hasn't gotten this bad.

So this time I'm not treating myself like "The Boy in the Plastic Bubble." I'm still avoiding alcohol and unpasteurized foods and limiting caffeine, but this time I'm hitting the gym (gently).  I am in a crafting crazy mode again-  this time I'm knitting- shut up with the old cat lady jokes.  And, as luck would have it, I'm going to be traveling for work on the day I'm supposed to go in for my pregnancy blood test so we're going to have to wait a couple extra days to find out for sure. We'll call this one the T+WW.

12 Days of TTC Christmas: But No Pressure, Y'all...

"Venture" LOL Grandma

We wanted to share some of the Christmas cards with best wishes on our TTC journey.  But no pressure guys. ;)  In honor of the holidays...

On the twelfth day of Christmas my TTC gave to me- 
12 phlebotomists with the shakes.
11 months of poking (heh) & prodding.
10 Clomid ugly cries.
9 stirrup leg cramps.
8 pics of my ovaries.
7 new fad diets.
6 awkward Google search histories.
5 sketchy OPK bathroom testssssssssss.
4 letter word yelled at a speculum.
3 B-uterus compliments.
2 legs in the air.
And a vial of sperm & a testing stick no one can read.