Week 12: Guys, There's Really a Baby in There!

So here we are at week 12 y'all!

Sorry for not posting last week, but not a whole lotta new stuff was going down and I ran out of gifs to properly demonstrate my eternal struggle with nausea and my faithful relationship with dairy.  So let's talk week 12!  The most dramatic development this week: Reflexes. The baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close, toes will curl, eye muscles will clench, and the mouth will make sucking movements. In fact, if you prod my abdomen, the baby will squirm in response, although I won't be able to feel it (believe me, the ultrasound tech did it a lot). From crown to rump, the baby-to-be is just over two inches long (the size of a kiwi) and weighs half an ounce.

Today we went to have an early risk assessment test done.  It is a noninvasive test that combines blood work with an ultrasound of the baby to identify risk for specific chromosomal abnormalities, including Down Syndrome Trisomy-21 and Trisomy-18.  Another portion of the test (known as the nuchal translucency) can assist in identifying other significant fetal abnormalities, such as cardiac disorders. #googledit




We were able to see our baby!

On a big screen squirming, waving

and even giving the U-N-I-T-Y fist.

The baby looks good (all the limbs accounted for!), strong heartbeat (164) and both hemispheres of the brain even.  They were able to see a slight view of the nuchal translucency, but our little nugget wouldn't lay quite in the right position to get a clear picture  (thus the nurse pile driving my abdomen with the ultrasound wand) so they want to get a better pic, which means a return visit this Friday.  

Then we wait all the way until June 19th to find out the sex!

Checking your calendar for your next ultrasound

I opened some champagne for Meg and we celebrated our last Cinco de Mayo (Baby-o) sans-kiddo.

Pre-Pregnant Cinco de Mayos

Pregnant Cinco de Mayo

WE'RE HAVING A BABY Y'ALL!

Week 8: Pregnancy Nausea, Give Me All the Carbs

Week 8 y'all!  The babe is just over 1/2 inch long, about the size of a kidney bean. New this week: Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from the hands and feet, eyelids practically cover the eyes, breathing tubes extend from the throat to the branches of the developing lungs, and the "tail" is gone. #science In the brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways.  And the heart now has 2 chambers! #googledthis




I'm dealing with the nausea... and although I've been lucky enough that I'm not actually getting sick, it doesn't mean that I don't look like a "post-frat party freshman the morning after" every day.  So sorry in advance for that.  I just try to graze all day- mostly on carbs (thanks pregnancy).  I did a reading at a wedding this weekend and OF COURSE a wave of nausea hit me just as I was standing up in front of everyone.  Amidst a beautiful passage on love and devotion I was thinking "Would it be tacky to pop a Ritz"?

I'm also feeling exhausted, still, all the time.  Meg is super happy because I finally want to go to bed at 9pm, which is her preferred bedtime anyway! But I'm serious.  If I've just eaten, or it's 2pm (sorry job)...or 8pm... I'm gonna yawn all over you.  I may even "rest my eyes". #thanksforthatonegrandmamasselli  The interwebs say to not fight it, so please understand, at least for the first trimester, that I'm gonna party hard, but only like an 8 year old cause I'm gonna crash your party and not in the Lindsay Lohan way.

What I Feel Like Sitting On the Table In
The "Gown"

Yesterday I had my first appointment with my OB/GYN since being discharged from the reproductive clinic.  First of all, I have perfected standing in nothing but an ill-fitting tie-up gown  (I can NEVER remember whether the nurse told me to have the opening in the front or the back) and some footies.  There's really nothing quite like someone giving you a breast exam while they're asking about your regularity as you stare at the calendar images of kittens in a tiny hot air balloon.


After more blood work (how is it possible I have any blood left?) and some bathing suit area inspections I was told all is well.  I also received more paperwork than if we were signing a mortgage on a home and was informed about some future testing options that we can opt to have, or not have. We'll cover those another week.  Our next ultrasound is at the 12 week mark (which is where the miscarriage rate drops to 5%) where we should be able to hear the heartbeat. The ultrasound is scheduled, appropriately, on Cinco de Mayo. Party hard or go home, right?

Week 6: Boobs of Fury

What you feel like when you go up a cup size.

Saturday we entered week 6 of pregnancy and although it hasn't been a ton of time, a lot is happening!  First of all, my knockers are getting huge.  They are also very sore. If you hug me tighter than a slightly awkward bro hug, I will probably punch you in the pancreas. But I figure- flaunt it while you have it.  Second, by 2pm I am willing to nap anywhere.  Legit. If I yawn while I'm with you, it's not you, it's me... unless it's you. You know what?  Just bring me some sort of cheese related food and we'll all be fine.  Also, please excuse the hormonal induced prepubescent acne festival that is happening on my chin.  Much like the US with Justin Beiber, I'm doing what I can with it, but we're all just waiting for it to recede and it will probably leave an ugly scar.

By now our little kinder is the size of a pea!  Currently, it has a beating heart and blood is running through Sweet Pea's (new name for the week) body.  It is also starting to develop a nose, mouth and ears.  It's probably looking similar to a newborn puppy with fins. The intestines and the tissue that will become the lungs are also forming. And the brain and bones are soon to be completed.  Guys.  I can't even finish making a gym playlist in the time all this stuff is happening.

Next step: Ultrasound on March 31st.

Being Strong the Night Before: This Post Endorsed By Michelle Obama's Arms

Hey team.  So tomorrow's the day we find out if second time's a charm.  I decided to do this post a little differently.  This time around I feel like I'm a pro (no, I'm not) and that I know everything that's coming around the bend (you're welcome for getting Pocahontas' "Just Around the River Bend" stuck in your head #disney).  None of that is true, but we are in semi-familiar territory.  This time I knew not to think every little cramp in my abdomen was a "thing".  This time around I had better things to do than to stare at the size of my chest in the mirror wondering if the girls were getting bigger- well, ok, so I did do that when I was housebound during the snow storm...  Some things that I did do: I allowed myself to think that it could happen, even daydreaming about future events I would attend as "pregnant Kate".  I spent a little bit of time looking at baby clothes and nursery ideas.  And I might have cried at a Ford commercial and then yelled at trashcan because clearly it caused the garbage bag to get stuck and rip, spilling the contents all over the ground. Yeah, I might have.

But I also remembered last time.  To be honest, we both, kind of, felt like it was going to happen for us on the first try.  That we would be that lesbian couple that broke the odds.  Then we would walk out of the reproductive clinic in our sensibly shoes under a saber arch held by the tallest members of the WNBA followed by a trail of adopted animals.  But it didn't happen that way.  And we dealt with that, and then dealt with the side affect of Clomid- creating a cyst that prolonged us trying again for another month.  Then a VERY confusing ovulation testing experience (most likely tied to Clomid) so I was left hoping that the results were right and not skewed from the meds.  And then another two week wait.  Whoever makes a woman wait 2 weeks with raging hormones for the potential of having a baby while also allowing us no booze is sadist.

We've also had a lot of support- it increases with each post.  The amount of people who have "come out" about their struggles to get pregnant and who were willing to share their story with us is astounding.   So bravo to you, ladies.

This time there were things I experienced that were very different than last time... things that seem like good signs. But I'm Irish and I believe in jinxing things so I've stopped myself from thinking about that too much.  I'm also a little pessimistic about my body as it has been a bitch to me my whole life so I don't give it a lot of credit.  So let's just do this.  If when I get that call tomorrow and they give me good news we can feel like this...

And if we get bad news again I'm allowed to feel like this...

My First Insemination: It Only Felt Like a Little Prick

Hey team.  So after seeing our positive ovulation predictor test I called the clinic immediately (Saturday at 7pm).  They are "open" 7 days a week, but over the holiday weekend they had someone (wo)manning the phones that are checked periodically.  We waited and waited and didn't hear back until 10:30 Sunday morning.  Which, in reality, is fine because you have a 24-36 hour window of time to inseminate after getting a positive ovulation test, but in medicated/trying to conceive land you are Whitney Houston/Alice Ripley/Kirk Cameron crazy. You turn into that person that calls a number a billion times with varying emotional messages ranging from 1 to Chris Brown.  And then they call you and you profusely apologize for being the crazy girl in the room.  They scheduled me for insemination Monday (12/2) at 9:30am.  So Meg and I did exactly what one would do before getting sperm injected in you.  I ate sushi (a pregnancy no-no), a hot dog (who knew? not allowed.) and had a gin and tonic.  Then we binge watched "Nurse Jackie" and decorated the Christmas tree.  What can I say?  We go hard or go home.

I woke up this morning feeling like I was about to take an exam and for those that don't know me, I don't test well.  I get all nervous and make horrible jokes and start talking in nonsensical sentences. In other words, I become Fox news.  So anyway, we sat down in the clinic waiting room and waited to be called in.  Eventually a nurse pulled us into a small office and informed us that the first vial of sperm they thawed had a low motility count (below the guarantee from the sperm bank).   I felt a wave of disappointment hit me- are we going to have to do all of this again another month without even trying???  She then said that they could thaw another vial and combine the two for an even stronger shot and we would be able to contact the donor bank for a refund on the low motility one anyway and we could do this in about 30 minutes.

When you have spent a large chunk of your savings on all of this I was delighted to hear about the refund. We'll see how that goes. Perhaps a post for another day?


We went back to an exam room and met our insemination nurse practitioner, Paula, who- first of all- is a DE-light.  Secondly she informed us that she is nicknamed the "Lesbinator" as she always tends to end up doing the inseminations for same sex couples.  Her patients have even made her a superhero sketch.  I CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP.  After having Meg write that down and proclaiming, "I'm SO blogging about this!" she had me lay back into the stirrups.  The whole procedure took about 5 minutes and the only tough part is the speculum.  For anyone that is not familiar with a speculum and what it does, it's basically like this but on your lady parts:

And if you're lucky they warm it up first.

After she was all done I hung out for15 minutes with my hips elevated. We ended up talking to the nurse about what types of cheese to avoid while I might be pregnant (and when I am, of course). Now we wait 2 weeks and do a pregnancy test.

Also.  They gave us the (totally cleaned and sanitized) vial that the sperm came in so we could deal with the sperm bank refund. My head started to fill with ideas for a baby book and making it into an ornament...anyway, I threw it into my purse on our way out.  Then, to keep tradition alive, I went to Panera because I "deserved" a grilled cheese and tomato soup.  And guess what I grabbed first when I was reaching for my wallet?  Yup.

It's Like Dating, But I Don't Have To Fake That I Don't Read

Today we want to celebrate two things.

1. We have had over 10,000 visits to this blog.

2. Our good friend (and Meg's old roommate) Brit came over for taco night. Yeah, yeah, get it out of your system.  

And I decided to do an ovulation predictor test: 

My test came up positive for ovulation and we are set to go in sometime in the next 24 hours for our first insemination.

Don't worry team, there's gonna be a whoooooole other post about that experience.