The past two weeks have been as rough as any TWW we've experienced. I spent the first 7 days telling myself every second that I need to remember that I took a shot that injected me with a pregnancy hormone and that "those feelings" aren't real. And then obsessively Google how long it takes to get that mess out of your system so you can cave to the early testing we inevitably cave to. I chose to think as positively as possible this cycle. We did EVERYTHING we could possibly do other than IVF to make this cycle as optimal as possible so I chose to think that we ARE going to be pregnant. Well, that is until one day during the cycle- maybe
hormones, maybe I was hangry- when the thought weaseled into my mind, "You might not be- again." And then a negative pregnancy test image popped into my head. That was my version of saying "that Scottish play" in a theater. It took me days to come out of that funk. But, again, I'm forcing myself to think positively. Reminding myself we did everything possible to make this happen and, also, that timing things just right to make a baby is harder than that Flappy Bird game.
I have also been communicating more with friends who are going through this/have been through this- thanks ladies, you're all gems. I can't stress this enough- if you are choosing to go through this venture it is beyond necessary to have proper support. Because you can't have booze. Don't get me wrong, Meg is my rock. But sometimes you need to discuss irrational feelings with another person who has been through this Rock n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith-like journey. Or when you need to talk about bodily functions that would only chip away at the incredibly sexy image of myself I have
Potential Baby Name? |
So now we wait until Friday morning for blood work. So pray to whatever deity you believe in that we get good news.
Only a few more days! Praying this is it for you!
ReplyDelete