This TWW Update Brought to You By Ellen & the 2014 Oscars

Hey team.  So we left off at our latest attempt in OBM (Operation Baby Makin') by way of ovulation monitoring including several ultrasounds to measure follicles and blood work to measure LH (Luteinizing Hormone) and Progesterone.  We got the thumbs up on Thursday the 20th that I had a baller follicle and my Be-uterine lining was also stellar.  Then Meg shot me in the stomach... with a needle of HCG to help induce ovulation within 36 hours and on Saturday the 22nd we inseminated!

The past two weeks have been as rough as any TWW we've experienced.  I spent the first 7 days telling myself every second that I need to remember that I took a shot that injected me with a pregnancy hormone and that "those feelings" aren't real.  And then obsessively Google how long it takes to get that mess out of your system so you can cave to the early testing we inevitably cave to.  I chose to think as positively as possible this cycle.  We did EVERYTHING we could possibly do other than IVF to make this cycle as optimal as possible so I chose to think that we ARE going to be pregnant.  Well, that is until one day during the cycle- maybe

hormones, maybe I was hangry- when the thought weaseled into my mind, "You might not be- again." And then a negative pregnancy test image popped into my head.  That was my version of saying "that Scottish play" in a theater.  It took me days to come out of that funk.  But, again, I'm forcing myself to think positively.  Reminding myself we did everything possible to make this happen and, also, that timing things just right to make a baby is harder than that Flappy Bird game.

I have also been communicating more with friends who are going through this/have been through this- thanks ladies, you're all gems.  I can't stress this enough- if you are choosing to go through this venture it is beyond necessary to have proper support.  Because you can't have booze.  Don't get me wrong, Meg is my rock.  But sometimes you need to discuss irrational feelings with another person who has been through this Rock n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith-like journey.  Or when you need to talk about bodily functions that would only chip away at the incredibly sexy image of myself I have

Potential Baby Name?

meticulously crafted in Meg's mind <sarcasm>.  And sometimes you let your crazy emotions join forces with your positive vibes and start talking about things that you would normally say fall into the "jinx bucket" of conversations, like potential baby names.  But with your Soul Cysters (I can take no credit for that one- thanks internet) it's totally kosher.  But really.  Find your outlets.

So now we wait until Friday morning for blood work.  So pray to whatever deity you believe in that we get good news.

Fertility Monitoring: So There I Was, Pants Around My Ankles

Whoever thought to use
oven mitts on stirrups
is a freaking genius.

View from the
ultrasound table.

Today I went in for the start of my fertility
monitoring and blood work.  Or as I like to call it "Poke and Prod"day.  The first part was the ultrasound.  My nurse greeting me with "Drop trou and take a seat on the throne!" The ultrasound went great- they check out the lining of your uterus- I was at 7.8mm- they are looking for something in between 7-10mm.  She also checked out my follicles, which also sounds like a pick-up line (follicles are responsible for releasing the egg).  She had a good count on both ovaries.  They also take blood to check estrogen levels.  Normally I'm an easy stick (heyo), but it took 4 tries and on the third try I felt a jolt through my body and radiating soreness run through my arm.  I'm not sure what happened, but I'm pretty positive I screamed something that rivaled the F-word count from "Wolf of Wall Street".

Although I was diagnosed with PCOS, I am very lucky to not have major fertility issues such as a blocked tube.  We decided to do the extra monitoring this cycle to make the most out of the try. We are investing a lot into this, financially and emotionally, so I wanted to make sure we are doing the most we can do to get it right. We are hopeful that my insurance will cover most of the monitoring, but we can't seem to get a clear answer from anyone, despite many hours sitting on hold with the insurance company. If insurance ends up not paying for me, you'll find me crying in the corner over our credit card bill. We'll keep you updated!

Another thing that happened is my grandmother passed away this morning.  I had the chance to be with her last weekend and, although she feared technology, she was up-to-date on this blog because each time I posted I would print it out and mail the latest entry to her.  She was the most southern of southern women, but was so accepting of me, Meg and the path we were taking to start a family.  She was fading last night so I called my mother who was by her side to the end.  My mom said, "I think you should tell her you're pregnant." And, while it's not the truth, I had also thought the same thing.  It would make her happy and it wasn't going to hurt anyone.  It wasn't until my mother held the phone to her ear and I struggled to say the words that this whole process, all the work, money, and blood (literally) and tears that have
that has gone into this hit me as hard as it would ever hit.  Even through the unspeakable pain that my grandmother was experiencing, my father said she raised her arms off the bed in celebration.

So.  Next steps.  My hormone levels were good- no surge detected (typically a surge of LH will happen between days 12-16).  And I'll go back in for another ultrasound and more blood work on Thursday morning.  Our  trigger shot will be arriving in the mail tomorrow so we will be ready to inject as soon as they give us the ok- this is the shot that Meg will have to inject in my behind.  I'm already preparing an arsenal of gifs for this experience.  Heh. ARSenal.

Goin' For the Gold, or, HcG Trigger Shots in My Rear

Well team, this cycle is starting a lot better than the past two have.  I am now becoming a firm believer in the "White Pants" theory.  Only women will understand this... For all the rest of you, here's some

education: as a female, you could guarantee a visit from your Aunt Flo by doing any of the following: planning a beach vacation, going on a date, or wearing white pants. We got our BFN on Friday the 31st and then I was still almost a week late.  Last time I went over a month without a new cycle, whichever they attributed to a cyst formed by the Clomid, and the day they told me to call if nothing had started, I called.... then bam.  She hit. This cycle I was running late again. And to my shock, to the same level of every member of the press who first saw their rooms in Sochi ( #olympics), it arrived.

For this next cycle we decided that we wanted to be a little more aggressive.  We will continue on 50mg of Clomid (starting tonight) which I had called in to a CVS while I'm visiting family in Virginia-side note: when I went to pick up the prescription at a CVS in rural Virginia I had "Di," the lesbian of all lesbians for a checkout woman. I wanted to have a secret signal that said, "My sista!", but this was the south and there's a good chance that she's actually straight. The line between butch lesbian and short haired badass southern chick is paper thin. 

We are also going to do fertility monitoring starting on day 12 of my cycle. I will go in every 2 days for an ultrasound where they will monitor the growth of my ovarian follicles.  And now I'm gonna drop a little education bomb. Typically, when a woman ovulates without fertility mess, a single follicle will raise up off the ovary.  The follicle should grow 18-24mm before it will rupture and pop out an egg.  With my having PCOS, I'm never guaranteed ovulation and last cycle the Clomid messed with the OPK test results and I question if I ovulated at all.  That experience had me more stressed out than a stage manager from "Spider-Man: The Musical".  They will also be taking

blood every other day to check estrogen levels- if my arm looks like I'm a character from "Rent" start singing 'Seasons of Love' to me and that will be our "secret handshake".

Ultrasound evaluation of follicles is even more important when fertility drugs are administered, since it

What I imagine a follicle looks like

allows the physician to determine the number and ripeness of follicles so that ovulation can be further stimulated and triggered in a safe fashion.

Also, the ultrasound can determine the thickness of the endometrial lining. The lining of the uterus must achieve a certain minimum thickness in order for there to be a good expectation that implantation will take place.

Doesn't even apply- I just love this.

Legit copied that from an old encyclopedia from my parents house.  Thanks 1998. Half of this blog's purpose is to educate. The other half is to entertain through witty remarks and painstakingly selected gifs.

After the doc identifies that that a follicle is ready I'll inject a trigger shot.  The shot contains hCG which is the chemical that triggers an egg to release. My doctor has ordered the shot which the medicine and needles will be delivered to us at our house and we will have to inject on our own.  Don't worry kids... That sucker is gonna be a blog post all on its own.

And we have to deal with what we pay out of pocket and what is covered by insurance.

We have to time things just right so we get the sperm in at the right time as frozen, thawed sperm only live 24-72 hours.  Then timing the egg release just right so they are not too premature or too old- we need them to be "Mama Bear Just Right".

That fairy tale fertility analogy just blew my mind.