Week 24: I Can Lose Weight When Pregnant? Damn You, Jenny Craig.

(written by Kate)

Couple of things.

If anyone can get me a Salty Pimp cone
from this place I will love you forever.

1. V-DAY!  Saturday marked the beginning of Week 24 which is considered Viability Day.  Or V-Day (totally different meaning than it used to hold for me).  This means, should the baby be born after this point, her likelihood of living outside of the womb so young increases significantly- of course with a lot of medical assistance.  Obviously we hope she stays in there for many more weeks, but it's a freakin' milestone so we're gonna celebrate it.  Probably with McDonald's soft serve.

Sooooo I can't consider mac & cheese
a vegetable?

2. Weight and Pregnancy.  So, typically, women get totally excited about being pregnant as they can "eat whatever they want" and not care.  As a heavier person this is not the case for me. Now or ever.  In my life.  Ever.  When I first met my OBGYN she challenged me to only gain a pound a month (most women with average BMI are allowed 25-40 pounds for the whole 9 months).




Now since becoming pregnant we haven't changed a whole lot about what we eat- honestly we ate pretty healthy before.  It was mostly cutting out alcohol (*sniff*), deli meats (I pine for you turkey club sandwich) and drinking a lot more water (you taste like nothing- you're just wet).



Despite the fact that I get off the couch about as gracefully as a jet landing on a tarmac covered in petroleum jelly and feel like I should travel by mode of Oompa Loompas rolling me, I've lost 16 pounds since getting pregnant.  WHAT.  THE.  HELL.  I've struggled with weight my entire life doing fad diets, Weight Watchers at the age of 12 and even surgery.  I procreate and I lose weight?!  I even put my gym membership on hold and changed to walking a couple times a week instead...so this is hard to believe! Not that I'm complaining.


3. Cravings. I don't have any weird cravings, but I am definitely more into sweets.  Specifically ice cream.  Mint chocolate chip. I'm trying every flavor out there so if you have a fav holler at me.

When Meg Brings Home a Toblerone

4. Maternity Clothes.  The struggle is real.  I am trying not to spend a lot of money on clothes I can only wear for a few months, but just because I'm losing weight doesn't mean my pre-pregnancy clothes are fitting me.

Let's remember that I've got a big ole bump growing on the front of me- and by the laws of physics: shit don't fit. #science  So putting on a pre-preggers shirt ends up being a battle of tummy exposure over indecent exposure.

5. Baby Talk.  I'm gonna apologize to all of our non-pregnant & childless friends.  Despite our best efforts, we can't help but talk about baby stuff. Chico or Gracco? Not since McDonald's fries v. Wendy's fries has there been a greater debate...  Also pregnancy side effects... nursery decor...the outrageous cost of daycare. We try really hard, but these things will always come up.  We have very awesome friends that politely listen and we totally understand if you're actually replaying the last episode of "House of Cards"  in your mind while smiling and nodding at us.

When you see another pregnant woman,
you have a secret 'hello'.

I am very happy that there is a small posse of pregnant women at my company so we can be baby crazy together.  There are two ladies that just had their babies and three who are due only a couple weeks before me.  And my boss just told me his wife is pregnant due five weeks after me- good luck everyone when we all peace out on maternity leave!


Next up: Nursery "before" shots and "after" plan. (for real this time, I know we promised it last week, but...)

Week 23- "Maybe she'll look like you!"

(words by Meg. Gifs by Kate)

Yesterday we had our 3rd try at the anatomy scan ultrasound which is usually completed at week 18. Baby Girl was still not psyched about flipping over for the tech, but she finally did and we got nice clear pictures of her perfect heart! Phew. We also had the tech confirm that it's a girl because I had a friend tell me her ultrasound tech was WRONG! Surprise!

We are pretty sure this little lady is going to be a piece of work. So far she's refused twice (almost three times!) to comply with the ultrasound tech's wishes and she regularly keeps Kate awake in the middle of the night by kicking endlessly. I can hear my father's voice now: "just wait until you have a child to drive you crazy like you drove me crazy!" Dad, I think you will not have to wait very much longer.

We also had a check-in after the ultrasound with our NP Judy who is just the absolute best person ever. She gives hugs! I love it. And thank goodness for her because our doctor is leaving the practice in August and the other doctor at the practice is leaving in October so...Judy will be our only constant through this pregnancy. Anyway, everything looks good, but for a variety of reasons we will now be having monthly ultrasounds to check the baby's growth and bi-weekly check-ins through 32 weeks, at which point we'll have weekly check-ins. Scheduling all of those appointments was not for the faint of heart! What was most surprising was how soon we will be at 32 weeks! Yikes. (I'll just leave it at that.)

Pregnancy Movin' Right Along

Now for a Friday laugh...I was having a conversation about the ultrasound with a very lovely co-worker of mine, who surely meant well, but....

Co-worker: So did you find out if it's a girl or a boy?

Meg: It's a girl!
Co-worker: Ohhh I hope she's blonde! Blonde babies are so cute. (she leans closer to look at my eyes) Is your wife blonde? And are her eyes blue too?

Meg: No, Kate has brown hair and brown eyes.

Co-worker: Well then it's a toss up! She could be blonde like you or have brown hair like Kate!

Hmm. I'm thinking she might need a lesson about how babies are made. (Also possibly a lesson about hair dye because...(shhh, don't tell anyone)...I'm not really this blonde.)

Next up: The nursery "before" pictures and a plan.

5 Weeks Pregnant, or, I'm Just Gonna Nap Right Here

Since our last post I have traveled to Cincinnati, Kentucky and New York (twice in one week) and in somewhere in there I've been stuck with a needle not once, but twice.  Go hard or go home right?  At least I got to be in the same room as Idina Menzel this weekend <swoon>... but back to the blog about our baby.  The Monday following our good news, and then again today, the doctor had me come in to check my HcG levels (the pregnancy hormone your body produces when a fertilized egg attaches to your uterus #science). Let me break it down for ya'.




Week 4 (3/8-3/14)- The baby was as big as a poppy seed (Meg referred to it as Poppy).

Week 5 (3/15-3/21)- The baby is as big as an apple seed (I nicknamed it Lil' Mac... like a Macintosh apple #nerdalert).

On Monday I went into the doctor's office first thing in the morning, had blood drawn and ran home to finish packing. Then I grabbed a cab and headed to Logan airport to fly out for a business trip all week.  Said trip was planned before we got the good news.  Cause, honestly, the last thing I wanted to be doing was sitting on a crowded (and delayed) Delta flight with a 1oz bag of complimentary nuts.  The office called me right before I boarded the plane to inform me that my HcG levels had been 81 on Friday and they were up to 191 on Monday! That's definitely within the "normal" range. Awesome news.

I spent most of last week in Cincinnati for business meetings and had to tell my boss and accompanying co-worker that I was pregnant for multiple reasons.

1. Business trips are code for little bit o' meetins, then lot o' bit o' drinkin', on the company dime.  And I couldn't.







2.You're going to constantly be rubbing your chest. (sorry, boss)  When they say that your boobs are gonna hurt, they mean it.  Scientifically speaking, your jugs are preparing to become milkin' machines.  They also begin increasing in size sometimes as fast as a cup size in the first week/2 weeks.(you're welcome, boss).


3. You're gonna be exhausted. I never take naps.  Ever.  Meg has even stated that she has never seen me sleep when it's light outside.  I am now falling asleep everywhere.  I slept on a plane with a "frequent leg crossing shifter" behind me that kicked my chair like they were trying to try out for the World Cup.

When you're trying to make it to a
bathroom with a full bladder.

4. Bathrooms.  You must always know where one is.  Because you're going to have to go all the time.  You will wake up at 12:59am (aka last night) and fear you won't make it. There's a lot happening in that nether region and it is starting to take over the neighborhood putting pressure on your bladder, so that's fun.

5. Emotions.  You haz them.  Not to mention hot flashes.  I was in NYC during 15 degree weather and someone said I look like I got a sunburn in a matter of 10 seconds.  I'll enjoy it now before it gets so hot I try not to move from the wall A/C unit unless food or peeing is involved.

Today I went in for more blood work and my levels increased to 2,341!  Woohoo!  Next is an ultrasound on March 31st to see how Lil' Mac is doing.  If all looks good our reproductive clinic will discharge us to our OB/GYN!  Stay tuned.

So This Uterus Walks Into a Bar...

Well, today we got up and went in for my hysteroscopy (the doctor thought he saw something on my HSG scans and wanted to rule out anything that needed to be surgically removed before we try).  I don't do well with waiting.  Particularly with some of the bad news we have encountered on our journey so far.  The night before the test I had crazy nightmares (mostly of the zombie nature- I blame that on Walking Dead's season premiere) and then I got "nervous tummy" which sounds cuter than it is- I still want anyone reading this to be able to look me in the eye.  I also got tense.

This test was one of the last hoops we have to jump through to ensure the "pipes are working", the "foundation is strong", the "recipe includes nutella".

What I imagine a uterus looks like.

After the doctor  Jacques Cousteau-ed my uterus (they take a camera up there and play paparazzi) he says, "Everything looks great.  You've got a beautiful uterus.
Perfect for hosting a baby."  Guys.  I really needed to hear that.  So.  We will now start clomid on my next cycle in a couple weeks and try our first insemination attempt. #wut




In the meantime we have two goals.
1. I need to lose the last few pounds that put me in the safe BMI zone.  More are welcome to relocate- but no relocating from my thighs to my ass.  Thunder is for the skies, not the thighs.  <rim shot>




2. Narrow down our donor options and order sperm.  We are really looking for someone who is tall and thin- let's fight genetics together. And has a healthy family history.  From there we'll decide what other factors are important.  Does the expanded profile say whether or not he's a Chenoweth fan?  #requirement

Guys.  Things are happening! #holler

After a Challenging Day of Cat Care, Meg Had 2 Drinks & Decided to Go to CVS Without a Bra On

Post by Meg (with gif interpretation by Kate)

What are you usually doing at 8:45pm on a rainy Thursday night?



If you’re anything like me, you‘d be walking to CVS in your pajamas after a stressful day (and a gin and tonic) to buy ovulation predictor kits (OPKs) for your wife. Wait…that’s not what most people do on Thursday nights?

So anyway, I walk into CVS and scan the aisle signs until I see “family planning.” That seems to be a natural place for OPKs to live, right? I walk by baby formula, baby thermometers, baby bottles and baby powder. Hmm…if you already have the baby, aren’t you kind of done with family planning?

It's a stretch to make this apply to scouring the aisles of CVS, but I (Kate) felt it needed to be on our site.

I come to the end of the aisle where I assume they must hide away the OPKs and right under the

“family planning” sign is, drum roll please…condoms. Now, I know I’m hardly an expert on condoms, but I at least understand that people use condoms when they’re planning NOT to have a family. The sign should actually read “Family Prevention.”

Kate's interpretation of what she thought Meg wanted to do to whomever designed the CVS layout.

In the end, I found the OPKs (which, by the way, are outrageously expensive), in the “Feminine care” aisle next to pregnancy tests, basal body thermometers and prenatal vitamins. Not that any of those things would be useful for family planning….

How Many Euphemisms Can I Use?Period

Posted by Kate

Hello!

If you have ever waited for a train when you're already running late, with an important presentation you are leading schedule to start in 10 minutes when your commute will take 20 minutes and you ate Indian food for breakfast before chugging a hot soda while also doing jumping jacks... that is the best way for me to convey the last 2 weeks.  What can I say? I'm a fan of painting a vivid picture.

The stage we were/are in of OBM (refresher: Operation Baby Makin') is the final tests before you actually "do the deed"- I can already see I'm going to try to find as many euphemisms for insemination as I can and contributions from the reading audience are welcome.  Previously, on Kate's TMI Journey:

We had blood test results saying we were disease free (high five!), discovered our blood types and CMV statuses.

We then had to wait for the... .... .... visit from Aunt Flo for the next tests.  My body decided to pull a "Miley at the VMAs" and go buck wild.  We waited and waited and Flo was a no-show.  The doc at RSC had me come in for a blood test (I am actually shocked I still have any blood left in my body after all the sticks) to test my hormone levels. They called me later that day and said that they needed to help the "crimson wave come to

shore". The doctor put me on Progesterone for 10 days, to be taken right before bed. Let me tell you, this may not be the same for anyone else that has been on the same pills, but I had some crazy ass dreams.  Take the plot of "Beatlejuice" add some characters from Walking Dead and random appearances of Steve Buscemi's teeth. So 10 nights of less sleep than what a Kate needs in order to ensure she doesn't speak in tongues the following morning.  Accounts online said that some people have seen the arrival of the "cotton pony" after a couple of days on the pills, but the true purpose of the medication is to build the lining on the uterine wall and then when you stop taking the meds, the lining sheds bringing on "your special friend".  The treatment started August 14th. Let me also add that we were scheduled to leave on a plane to California the morning of August 30th and the tests must be done on the 3rd day (possibly the 2nd if need be) of "your monthly visitor". So, to keep this from becoming a "2 trains left from separate stations" math formula:
Last pill would be taken on Friday, August 23rd

My body is expecting the hormone still on Saturday, August 24, but it doesn't get any.

Sunday, August 25th...we're getting terribly close to this all happening while we're in CA, which would mean we'd miss our chance to do these "Day 3" tests and have to wait another month. Talk about pressure.

Sunday came and I've never willed anything to come more in my entire life. My Google search history on my phone looking for ways to encourage the "Panty Shields Up, Captain!" officially will keep me from running for office.  I started to be a nervous wreck (if I was that bad, don't ask about Meg) and my hormones were more up and down that Charley Sheen.  I was taking 2,000mg of Vitamin C, oil of Primrose and any other thing the internet told me to do. Time was racing and our trip was approaching. I woke up Tuesday morning at 3:30 from another Rob Zombie-like nightmare and still nothing.  I laid back down in bed and willed myself to sleep. After using all of my lives in Candy Crush I gave up and just got ready for work.  Then it happened. Just in the nick of time. I immediately told Meg to which we high fived... It seemed appropriate.  Then called the clinic. Thursday morning I went in for an ultrasound (when I

walked in the song "Your Body is a Wonderland" by John Mayer came on- touché) to check the engine, look for oil leaks and check the spark plugs (I actually know ridiculously little about cars so that sentence may be a load of crap. They located my ovaries quickly, said everything looked to be in good shape (a tiny cyst on my left ovary, but that's common in most women and to be of no concern) and counted the follicles on each.  Average women with no issues have between 5-10 and I had 11 in one ovary and 13 in the other. They then took my blood to check E2, FSH, LH hormone levels and all was good.  Later that day I met with a new OBGYN, as currently my yearly exams are done by my Primary Care and as much as I love Marie at Davis Square Family Practice (if you live in the greater Somerville/Boston area and don't see her you need to reevaluate your life choices- she's amazing & sees everyone that has ever lived at 22 Thorndike aka Meg's old apt- it's a lot of damn people) she can't deliver babies. I chose an OBGYN at Mt Auburn Hospital Women's Center and later we'll be able to attend an open house to meet all of their doctors and Midwives. I honestly didn't know what a midwife was and I'm still not entirely sure, but to my understanding they can do almost everything an OB can do with the exception of emergency surgery.  Also, I envision midwives to be a little like your guidance counselor where they talk to you about feelings, teach you how to care for a baby and write a recommendation for your application to Undergrad.

So let's talk next steps.  Thursday I go into Newton-Welsley Hospital for an HSG (Hysterosalpingogram) test- bonus points if you use that word in a game of Words With Friends.  They inject contrast dye into your uterus and watch it come out your fallopian tubes to make sure the "pipes are free and clear".  I've been told that this can be painful so... awesome.  And as I am typing this I am on the way back from our 2nd Anniversary vaca in CA where I just did my first ovulation test in the bathroom of a JetBlue Airbus. At this point we are just testing to see how it fits into our basal body temp  charting to help plan for the first opportunity we will have to "try".  To answer the burning question I'm sure you all have on your mind, no they do not sell "Yay I'm ovulating!"  T-shirts in Sky Mall.