And the Vial Made Three

It has been confirmed by a gajillion home pregnancy tests (I have a pee on a stick problem) and bloodwork!

Also Pictured: My morning hair

Us, the results and the vial.

More details after we cool our shit.

And now a series of celebratory gifs entitled "Y'all Have No Idea How Long I've Been Building This Arsenal of Gems":

XOXO,

K + M

Being Strong the Night Before: This Post Endorsed By Michelle Obama's Arms

Hey team.  So tomorrow's the day we find out if second time's a charm.  I decided to do this post a little differently.  This time around I feel like I'm a pro (no, I'm not) and that I know everything that's coming around the bend (you're welcome for getting Pocahontas' "Just Around the River Bend" stuck in your head #disney).  None of that is true, but we are in semi-familiar territory.  This time I knew not to think every little cramp in my abdomen was a "thing".  This time around I had better things to do than to stare at the size of my chest in the mirror wondering if the girls were getting bigger- well, ok, so I did do that when I was housebound during the snow storm...  Some things that I did do: I allowed myself to think that it could happen, even daydreaming about future events I would attend as "pregnant Kate".  I spent a little bit of time looking at baby clothes and nursery ideas.  And I might have cried at a Ford commercial and then yelled at trashcan because clearly it caused the garbage bag to get stuck and rip, spilling the contents all over the ground. Yeah, I might have.

But I also remembered last time.  To be honest, we both, kind of, felt like it was going to happen for us on the first try.  That we would be that lesbian couple that broke the odds.  Then we would walk out of the reproductive clinic in our sensibly shoes under a saber arch held by the tallest members of the WNBA followed by a trail of adopted animals.  But it didn't happen that way.  And we dealt with that, and then dealt with the side affect of Clomid- creating a cyst that prolonged us trying again for another month.  Then a VERY confusing ovulation testing experience (most likely tied to Clomid) so I was left hoping that the results were right and not skewed from the meds.  And then another two week wait.  Whoever makes a woman wait 2 weeks with raging hormones for the potential of having a baby while also allowing us no booze is sadist.

We've also had a lot of support- it increases with each post.  The amount of people who have "come out" about their struggles to get pregnant and who were willing to share their story with us is astounding.   So bravo to you, ladies.

This time there were things I experienced that were very different than last time... things that seem like good signs. But I'm Irish and I believe in jinxing things so I've stopped myself from thinking about that too much.  I'm also a little pessimistic about my body as it has been a bitch to me my whole life so I don't give it a lot of credit.  So let's just do this.  If when I get that call tomorrow and they give me good news we can feel like this...

And if we get bad news again I'm allowed to feel like this...

TWW, The Sequel: Reloaded & Back With a Vengeance

Watching for ovulation.

So we were inseminated on Friday.  This cycle was a little different than the last.  Typically, when using Clearblue Advanced Digital Ovulation tests, you get 1-2 days of a flashing smiley face telling you that your fertility is high (for straighties who get their "junk" for free it means you can start trying now to optimize your window) which serves as a heads up.  After the 2 day flashing smiley you then should receive a solid smiley face indicating you are at your peak and should ovulate sometime in the next 12-24 hours.  Well I didn't receive my solid smiley face until I'd had 4 days of flashing smileys which really threw me for a loop.  After much research (internet you are both my bff and my worst enemy) I learned that Clomid can lead to jacked up readings on your OPK tests.  Shit.

How I feel about stressing over sperm
motility. #really?!

We hope, much like anyone else in this process, that we got the timing right.  We also learned that the specimen that was thawed for our Friday insemination was lower motility.  Not below standards, but not super high.  Our fertility doctor said that it was fine to use and after last insemination where we ended up combining two samples (which didn't work any better) we thought it would be fine.

We are now on day 4 of our TWW (two week wait) and it is so much different this time.  Last time I thought any little move would "shake things loose" and had an initial fear of peeing because "what if I peed it out"... If you haven't figured this out by now, trying to have a baby makes you cray cray.  I'm going to reiterate this for anyone else in the TWW reading this.  There are no definitive signs during this time to tell you you're pregnant.  So, no, it's just gas from that burrito you ate.  I don't mean to be an asshat, but I spent many a night scouring the internet with the same questions.  I also am ashamed of how little I knew about my own female anatomy.

It hasn't gotten this bad.

So this time I'm not treating myself like "The Boy in the Plastic Bubble." I'm still avoiding alcohol and unpasteurized foods and limiting caffeine, but this time I'm hitting the gym (gently).  I am in a crafting crazy mode again-  this time I'm knitting- shut up with the old cat lady jokes.  And, as luck would have it, I'm going to be traveling for work on the day I'm supposed to go in for my pregnancy blood test so we're going to have to wait a couple extra days to find out for sure. We'll call this one the T+WW.

Weight & Pregnancy, or The Curse of the Junk In the Trunk

So as we have discussed before weight is a factor in a successful pregnancy (duh).  So with me "passing inspection" this is the last hurdle.  Fertility clinics have strict rules about BMI (this was one of the 'rules' clinics have accepting you as a patient) and, despite the fact you can be in pretty great health- weight withstanding, they can decline to inseminate you if you are not at or under the BMI cap.  I have been a "big kid" as a child, a "fat girl" as a teen and "heavy woman" as an adult.  Losing weight hasn't been easy for me and, granted, until I was 20-ish I thought potatoes were considered a vegetable... ...

I have, approx, 40 days to lose 6 pounds to get to the weight my fertility doc said I  would need to be to be approved to do insemination according to the clinic rules.  And it's not just about weight loss.  I also need to maintain my vitamin levels (I've been dissing Vitamin D), keep an eye my thyroid, balance new natural vitamins to help with LH (I read an article that says a natural way of helping increase progesterone/Lutenizing Hormones/lengthening your Luteal Stage (the part where your woman parts prepare for the baby bean drops itself like it's hot).  I'm on a cocktail of vitamins and will start taking Clomid soon.  Sorry everyone for the things I do and say- it is not me speaking, it's a concoction of random chemically induced personalities from a range of Tammy Faye Baker to Chris Brown.

But I've also started working out more.  And by more I mean at all.
I've been doing 45+ minutes a day of cardio for 6 days a week.  I also restricted my diet to no gluten,

no unnatural sugars, no sweets, limited cheese, reduced carbs, and maybe 1 drink a week (if I do it's 1 gin and diet tonic).  Now I know what you're thinking and I already left a message for the good folks at Franzia  so it doesn't throw off their inventory.  Most of the time I feel ok, but I don't look forward to eating.  I see my 134,985th day of salads in a row and there's only so much you can do to make a salad appetizing before it crosses the line into taco salad (just because it has lettuce doesn't make it a salad).  Meg and I were on a walk last night and I legit spent a quarter of a mile talking about fried mozzarella sticks and loaded potato skins like I was performing a live reading of "50 Shades of Gray".

Me Trying to Learn ANY Choreography.

 People at work have been telling me to change things up and join a gym with classes.  Then you can transition into pregnancy workout classes then post-pregnancy workout classes.  I am not good at attending classes.  Group workouts stress me out and I am part of the rhythm-less nation and I inevitably will harm myself/classmate/aerobic equipment with what should have been a Burpee and ended up being a Fartee or a downward facing dog that spirals into sideways falling Kate.  Then there are the people telling me to do Zumba.... have you seen me dance at a wedding?  I come prepared with "I'm sorry I kicked you in the face.  I blame Wine and Cher."

How I Feel When I Leave the Gym.

So, I've got 6 pounds to get to the weight my doctor wants me to be at so the clinic will allow the insemination.  Of course I want to lose more, but eye on the prize kids.

The below has nothing to do with this post, other than further proof I was a butterball of a kid, but I found it while looking at childhood photos.

Foreshadowing?