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Showing posts with label hysteroscopy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hysteroscopy. Show all posts

Friday, October 18, 2013

So This Uterus Walks Into a Bar...

Well, today we got up and went in for my hysteroscopy (the doctor thought he saw something on my HSG scans and wanted to rule out anything that needed to be surgically removed before we try).  I don't do well with waiting.  Particularly with some of the bad news we have encountered on our journey so far.  The night before the test I had crazy nightmares (mostly of the zombie nature- I blame that on Walking Dead's season premiere) and then I got "nervous tummy" which sounds cuter than it is- I still want anyone reading this to be able to look me in the eye.  I also got tense.

hocus pocus, kathy najimyhocus pocus, bette midler

This test was one of the last hoops we have to jump through to ensure the "pipes are working", the "foundation is strong", the "recipe includes nutella".

easy aeasy a

prince
What I imagine a uterus looks like.
After the doctor  Jacques Cousteau-ed my uterus (they take a camera up there and play paparazzi) he says, "Everything looks great.  You've got a beautiful uterus.
rainbow explotionPerfect for hosting a baby."  Guys.  I really needed to hear that.  So.  We will now start clomid on my next cycle in a couple weeks and try our first insemination attempt. #wut




american dadIn the meantime we have two goals.
1. I need to lose the last few pounds that put me in the safe BMI zone.  More are welcome to relocate- but no relocating from my thighs to my ass.  Thunder is for the skies, not the thighs.  <rim shot>



it's the great pumpkin charlie brown
2. Narrow down our donor options and order sperm.  We are really looking for someone who is tall and thin- let's fight genetics together. And has a healthy family history.  From there we'll decide what other factors are important.  Does the expanded profile say whether or not he's a Chenoweth fan?  #requirement

Guys.  Things are happening! #holler






Wednesday, October 16, 2013

I Would Have Bought Your Donor's Voice Recording, But I Spent All my Money at the Whole Foods Salad Bar

We've previously talked about how we are picking the sperm donor, but the Boston Globe posted an article yesterday that makes things a little more complicated. Basically the article is introducing a new optional procedure to test for 600 genetic childhood diseases. Great right? Sure.  But like most of us going through this journey it isn't like we can drop Benjamins like Big Papi drops home runs (sorry, the Red Sox are in the ALCS.  Any other time and I would know nothing about sports).  I think what the woman in the article went through is terrible, but it does point out another option/resource presented to you in this process that you have to budget for.... or not.  Let me lay out the numbers for you.


tina fey, amy poehler, emmys
Doctor Visits (primary care, gyno, reproductive doc, etc)       $30 copay each time
So much poking and prodding.  But at least they call you the next day. <heyoo>



Testing & Meds (HSG, sonogram, blood tests, hysteroscopy, clomid, etc)  between $30 - $4,000
tina fey, amy poehler, golden globes
 **These can vary based upon your insurance coverage.  Simply call your company and they will provide all the answers <sarcasm>






OPK Kits    $22 for a pack of 100 little testing sticks - $36 for a the digital
mutiple choice, savage chicken
I'll be honest- if you don't know me I am pretty cheap.  Most of the time I'll take "quality" over QUALITY if it saves me $5.  I also don't test well.  Meaning when I took the SATs in high school I took them 5 times. I'm not dumb, I just rationalize every possible option in a multiple choice.  So when presented with a stick that has two lines and if the lines are remotely dark in comparison you're
OPK test, ovulation test, digital ovulation test
ovulating I have a panic attack.  Seriously.  You need a Pantone color swatch book.  "Shit.  I think Line 2 is
Cyan4
Magenta82
Yellow26
Black0
But Line one has darker tones of magenta?!?!!?"  Save yourself some time, stress and a graphic design degree and get the freakin' digital one.  It's either a circle or a smiley.  Or what I call the remedial OPK testing option.

Donor Sperm     $350-$1,000
west wing, CJ, I'm too sexyWe're talking reputable sperm here, people.  Our center works with about 15 different sperm banks around the country.  Meg, being the A+ student of the household, researched all of them and we narrowed our choice to one that will remain nameless here. It has a good amount of options (particularity since my CMV negative status narrows our options) and the pricing is reasonable (I already looked and they don't do Groupons).  We discovered along the way that some places even have bargain bins.... though this time, and I know this is a shock, even I will skip the clearance rack.  Other places, <cough, California, cough> offer "ad-ons" that you (no surprise) have to pay extra for.  Also, check out their donor search button....
sperm donor, donor search

Donor Information - Downloadable A La Carte Items

Handwriting Analysis$20
Express Yourself$20
Facial Features Report$20
Donor Voice Recording$20
Childhood Photo(s)$20


And then there's shipping  for the sperm     $125-$340     & Storage      $450-$2,550

Blood Pregnancy Test     $70 each month (remember when they made me do one a week ago?!?)
parks and recparks and rec

As I've mentioned before, Meg is the planner in our family and, luckily, she builds in our savings from our budget.  There are a lot of pieces of this where you will be faced with financial options from "do we get a donor who looks like Taye Diggs?" to "do we spend a little more for additional testing?".  As long as they don't put these options in a multiple choice format I think we're gonna get through this.

chaos
Visualization of your bank account after all of this.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Yeah, But... I'm Gay


cher
What I imagine a uterus looks like. 


I have my hysteroscopy a week from tomorrow which will hopefully (cross fingers, toes, etc) be the last step before we start trying.  Because this procedure involves putting a tiny camera into my uterus, the reproductive center requires that I have a blood pregnancy test beforehand.  To test to see if I'm pregnant.  Hi. Lesbian here. If I'm pregnant, somebody better make space at the Inn because I'm the second Mary Mother of Jesus.



Simon Cowell, blank stare

blank stare
blank stare


golden girls, wth, what the hell

TOP 5 THINGS MORE LIKELY TO HAPPEN THAN THIS TEST BEING A POSITIVE
5. Miley Cyrus entering a convent.
4. Orange juice tasting good after brushing your teeth.
3. The MBTA functioning without a delay for 5 minutes.
2. Nutella becoming fat free.
1. Anyone ever finishing a game of Monopoly.