|My 6th grade Geography project.|
We were asked to create our own
country and show rivers, towns, hills.
I made Streisland with the
Bay of Prince of Tides. #gay
Posted by Kate
|Kid, in our world it's ALWAYS a Mary.|
We had several sperm banks to choose from, based on a list provided to us by our fertility clinic. One of the options (that we did not choose) is the California Cryobank which offers the option of searching for sperm by celebrity look-a-like. Want your sperm donor to look like Brad Pitt? No problem. Welcome to the vortex of time suckage as you hit up that site for hours. Some of the celebrity look-a-like options are fantastic, handsome, talented men I would LOVE for my kid to look like (Taye Diggs- we all dig you). Then there are some "celeb" donors that give you the same awkward feeling you get when you watch a drunk girl try to dance at a wedding.
Ryan Lochte. This is all I can imagine:
Or Owen Wilson:
Or maybe on the positive side, dream of dreams, an NPH baby:
So, to give props to our town of Boston, let's say we chose to look at donor 132 *(number changed for privacy) who is described to look like Mark Wahlberg. His mini-bio reads: "With a list of hobbies that includes beat boxing..." We're just gonna stop right there. And for an additional $250 you can get a childhood photo and a voice recording. The last thing I want to know is if voice box matches the beat box.
In all honesty, we didn't go with California Cryobank because the celebrity look-a-like feature felt so cheesy. On top of that, they charge you for each and every little thing. Want a childhood photo? $50 please. Want to hear the man's voice (PS, no thanks)? That's $100. Personally, that didn't feel good to us.
Now back on the lighter side, let's take look at some of the donors that exist out there:
Blonde hair, blue eyes, 5'5", fair skin.
Message to recipient: DON’T WAIT FOR OPPORTUNITIES TO HAPPEN, MAKE OPPORTUNITIES HAPPEN!! OR, “LIFE’S A GARDEN, DIG IT!”
Brown Hair, O+, loves golfing.
Why did you decide to donate? Because I heard it was good money. And I want to spread my superior genes.
Kate and Meg: Our yeah, we can't wait to tell our future child this.
So picking our donor kinda feels like being set up on a blind date. But the best part is I don't have to make small talk with him, I don't have to pretend he's cute and more importantly I get the girl in the end.