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Monday, September 30, 2013

11 things you shouldn't ask a lesbian mom (or a lesbian who very much hopes to be a mom)

Posted by Meg (with Kate's feelings/responses in gifs) offers a witty list of 10 things you shouldn't ask a lesbian mom, which I'd like to share here as a friendly PSA to our loved ones about what you really should not ask us about our baby-making journey and our (hopeful/someday/pleasepleaseplease) baby.

1. Which one of you is the mother?
lucille bluth, arrested development

2. Who's the biological mother?
Tom Haverford, parks and rec

3. Where did you get the sperm?
pitch perfect

4. Is the dad in your child's life?
not impressed

5. What do you know about the sperm donor?
liz lemon, 30 rock

6. Isn't your child confused about what to call you?
stewie, mom, momma, mommy, family guy

7. Doesn't your child miss out on doing "dad" things, like playing ball and using tools?

8. What did you write under "Father" on your child's birth certificate?
princess bride, mandy patikin

9. Where is your child from?
mean girls

10. Are you worried your child will get teased because you're gay?
wrong answer guy, billy madison

I've added an 11th question, which unfortunately we've already been asked:

"What if you have a boy?" -Unidentified family member
lucille bluth, closing door judging

I'm not sure if my jaw dropping to the table made it clear that this was a completely insane and inappropriate thing to ask us, and honestly I can't even remember how we answered. It was the first time someone we love asked us a truly offensive question, and unfortunately I'm sure it won't be the last time. But hopefully's "10 things you shouldn't ask a lesbian mom" can help.


  1. Hello! Great post. My personal opinion about these types of questions is that you should look at them as a chance to educate people about why their question was inappropriate or meaningless. Instead of being offended (well, outwardly at least) realize that more often than not people ask these questions without the slightest clue that they are offensive, and certainly aren't purposely trying to offend you. These questions are great, because it gives you a chance to set people straight on the subject. If they never asked or you never correct them (kindly, hopefully) then they will remain ignorant. Yay for educating!

  2. when people asked me the what if you have a boy question my response was i'd cut off his penis. but then that's the kind of parent i am.