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Wednesday, October 16, 2013

I Would Have Bought Your Donor's Voice Recording, But I Spent All my Money at the Whole Foods Salad Bar

We've previously talked about how we are picking the sperm donor, but the Boston Globe posted an article yesterday that makes things a little more complicated. Basically the article is introducing a new optional procedure to test for 600 genetic childhood diseases. Great right? Sure.  But like most of us going through this journey it isn't like we can drop Benjamins like Big Papi drops home runs (sorry, the Red Sox are in the ALCS.  Any other time and I would know nothing about sports).  I think what the woman in the article went through is terrible, but it does point out another option/resource presented to you in this process that you have to budget for.... or not.  Let me lay out the numbers for you.


tina fey, amy poehler, emmys
Doctor Visits (primary care, gyno, reproductive doc, etc)       $30 copay each time
So much poking and prodding.  But at least they call you the next day. <heyoo>



Testing & Meds (HSG, sonogram, blood tests, hysteroscopy, clomid, etc)  between $30 - $4,000
tina fey, amy poehler, golden globes
 **These can vary based upon your insurance coverage.  Simply call your company and they will provide all the answers <sarcasm>






OPK Kits    $22 for a pack of 100 little testing sticks - $36 for a the digital
mutiple choice, savage chicken
I'll be honest- if you don't know me I am pretty cheap.  Most of the time I'll take "quality" over QUALITY if it saves me $5.  I also don't test well.  Meaning when I took the SATs in high school I took them 5 times. I'm not dumb, I just rationalize every possible option in a multiple choice.  So when presented with a stick that has two lines and if the lines are remotely dark in comparison you're
OPK test, ovulation test, digital ovulation test
ovulating I have a panic attack.  Seriously.  You need a Pantone color swatch book.  "Shit.  I think Line 2 is
Cyan4
Magenta82
Yellow26
Black0
But Line one has darker tones of magenta?!?!!?"  Save yourself some time, stress and a graphic design degree and get the freakin' digital one.  It's either a circle or a smiley.  Or what I call the remedial OPK testing option.

Donor Sperm     $350-$1,000
west wing, CJ, I'm too sexyWe're talking reputable sperm here, people.  Our center works with about 15 different sperm banks around the country.  Meg, being the A+ student of the household, researched all of them and we narrowed our choice to one that will remain nameless here. It has a good amount of options (particularity since my CMV negative status narrows our options) and the pricing is reasonable (I already looked and they don't do Groupons).  We discovered along the way that some places even have bargain bins.... though this time, and I know this is a shock, even I will skip the clearance rack.  Other places, <cough, California, cough> offer "ad-ons" that you (no surprise) have to pay extra for.  Also, check out their donor search button....
sperm donor, donor search

Donor Information - Downloadable A La Carte Items

Handwriting Analysis$20
Express Yourself$20
Facial Features Report$20
Donor Voice Recording$20
Childhood Photo(s)$20


And then there's shipping  for the sperm     $125-$340     & Storage      $450-$2,550

Blood Pregnancy Test     $70 each month (remember when they made me do one a week ago?!?)
parks and recparks and rec

As I've mentioned before, Meg is the planner in our family and, luckily, she builds in our savings from our budget.  There are a lot of pieces of this where you will be faced with financial options from "do we get a donor who looks like Taye Diggs?" to "do we spend a little more for additional testing?".  As long as they don't put these options in a multiple choice format I think we're gonna get through this.

chaos
Visualization of your bank account after all of this.

8 comments:

  1. OMG I just LOLed at work!! The bank account picture is so very true! And who knew you could get all those add-ons for your sperm!

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  2. After spending over $3,000 25 years ago all I can say is...fresh is best.

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  3. Do you find it odd that (depending on price) the cost of storing the sperm is less than the cost of procuring it?

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  4. Hi Kate! My name is Heather and I have a question about your blog! If you could email me at Lifesabanquet1(at)gmail(dot)com when you get a free moment that would be great!

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  5. Jodi- I find it odd (ok, just annoying) that I have to pay to store it at all! It's just sitting in a freezer somewhere, what's the big damn deal?

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  6. Ayah- I wish fresh was an option, but for us...no so much.

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