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Wednesday, October 9, 2013

The Internet: Cheaper Than Therapy

So.  My latest test (testing my testosterone levels for PCOS- Testosterone-y, the Real San Francisco Treat) came back normal- YAY, but now we are waiting for the next test.  When I had my HSG test my doctor saw something he wants to double check.  So I'm scheduled to have a hysteroscopy a week from Friday.  While we play the waiting game Meg found this great blog (Mommy Loves Martinis <brill name right?!?!) where the author covered "Things I Wish I Knew Before Starting My Infertility Journey".  Portions from her credited post above are in bold because I believe in giving props where props are due.We've added our two cents.

1. Fertility treatment is a huge undertaking, and you’ll stay focused if you have a long-term plan of what types of treatments you’re willing to do, how long you’re willing to invest, and what you’ll do if a particular type of treatment is unsuccessful.
I can't stress how much you think about it all day.  "Should I eat that piece of chocolate? No, you need to keep working on your best pregnancy weight."  "Should we book that vacation next summer? Umm, will we be pregnant around that time?" "God, nobody look at my suggested Amazon items!  I bought a palate of ovulation kits and I blew the algorithm."

2. Plan for the long-haul.
lesbian second date, uhaulI almost auto-corrected "long-haul" to "U-haul" (lesbian joke ya'll).  I think what has been hard on both of us is how long this takes, and we haven't even started trying yet! Just getting to the trying has taken us almost a year.  It feels like everyone around us is getting pregnant faster than a
batch of teens on prom night.  And we're still staring at a stick trying to read the hieroglyphics of a test result.

3. Don’t take setbacks as a sign that it’s not meant to be for you.
Easier said than done.  I know.  It's a hard lesson to learn and I feel like I have to say it like a mantra, but there are gonna be bumps in the road.  Just don't hit them so hard it skips your cd and blows your shocks.  There's a metaphor in there somewhere.
this is the end, seth rogan

4. Don’t be a victim. It sucks to have to go to so much effort to have a child, when it comes so easily to others.
This is a common statement among lesbians. It's hard to believe that so many heterosexual people get accidentally pregnant, when we'll have to pay thousands of dollars and spend many months of our lives to achieve the same end. But, I'm a firm believer that things happen for a reason.  Now you will never hear me say that at a time when something shitty is happening to me as I'm either a hot mess of emotion or busy stringing together a line of expletives.  We will have a family when everything is meant to happen...or when we see three wise men who followed a star to find us.  Come to think of it.  That sounds a good sequel to "Xanadu".

5. Come up with your own mantra that you go back to again and again.
I haven't found one yet, but when I do it'll be like this.
mantra, doe equis

6. Be stubborn. Allow yourself to grieve and feel that it’s “not fair”. Practice patience. If you mess up and break down, gather your shit together, and practice patience again.
glee, this
I agree with everything she just said.

7. Allow yourself to have bad days. I may sound all chipper now, but I had many days where I sat outside, just staring out into the yard, wondering how all this would end.
We haven't even begun the insemination attempts yet so I'm just going to let her speak to this one.

preach it8. Give and receive support. I found mine online at Sharing your journey with others is validating. It makes your story real and makes you feel not alone. It also helps with feelings of jealousy, which is a messy, embarrassing thing to feel when you have friends and family who are pregnant, and you can’t feel happy for them.
Preach.  This is a big reason of why we're doing this blog.  It's therapeutic, it's a great way to get info to our family and friends (particularly when the news isn't great- who wants to repeat bad news over and over?), it's a resource for others and judging by the fact that we have readers from 26 countries I think we're doing something right.

9. Take a break when you need to. Fertility treatment is grueling. It’s all exhausting on your mind, body, and soul. If you push pause, it doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It means you’re gathering your strength. You’ll know when the time is right again. Remember, you’re in it for the long-haul.
this is the end, seth rogan, jonah hill, sink hole, cinco de mayo

I can already say that the basic meds I've been on- really just mild hormones- are causing me to have apocalyptic nightmares.  I also noticed that the horse pill sized progesterone pills they put me on instructed me to take them at night as they cause dizziness and make you foggy headed.
ambien, tweeting, twitter, kristen chenoweth

We're not so good at taking breaks (we're lesbians, we commit), but it's still early on.  We'll keep turning to great women like the ladies at Mommy Loves Martinis who went through this before us for advice. We have a plan and we'll keep trying until we build our family and if I get an SNL writing gig out of this blog that would be baller as well (hint hint, wink wink).


  1. Thanks so much and congratulations on starting an exciting part of your journey! Love your writing style. If you get that SNL gig, keep me in mind as your sidekick ;)

  2. Ha ha ha! God you're funny. I found you on LFCA. Thank you for making me laugh.

    I'm a lesbo, also TTC (though I specifically requested a Jesus baby, I didn't get one) and today I had to have a pelvic MRI. Ohmygod it was awful. Awful, awful, awful. And maybe the tastiest icing on that crap cake is that I can't/don't/refuse (but not in a martyred kind of way, I'm grown up) to talk about it with anyone other than my wife because I'm not ready yet for all the blowback about why we are TTC. Why doesn't FB have a gay filter button? Like under the "Custom" section when you post it could have a category called "Not Good with the Gay" and just auto filter out all those well-meaning people plus non-well-meaning relatives. That would really make my life a lot easier. But hey! because I HAD to talk about, I went to Mel's blog and found YOU. So, technology win, sort of.

    1. Hey Liz! Glad you're liking it and I totally hear you. We're gonna keep talking about and you are welcome to join the conversation or if you need to chitterchat about it more I'm happy to do email. #lezzunity