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Thursday, November 21, 2013

Blame It On the Clomid: A Story of Hot Flashes and Weep-fests


I'm totally grateful for how positive my test results have been through this whole process, but this journey is seriously taking forever. BUT I did start day 1 of my cycle, aka I got my period (sorry Dad, gay boyfriends, etc!) on Monday and contacted our fertility clinic for next steps.

They have recorded my new and improved weight (BAM) and confirmed that they did receive the shipment of donor sperm....
friends, gif

...and started me on Clomid, which is a pill prescribed for woman who experience irregular cycles. It's supposed to assist in ovulation by toying with your hormones.  Let me put it in a way that's easy to understand.... Clomid helps get your baby party started by increasing the chances you will ovulate and strengthens your ovulation.  AKA it gets this party started right.  It gets this party started quickly. C+C music Factory anyone?

tina feytina fey

So I have 5 days worth of 50mg of Clomid.  My level of knowledge about Clomid is equivalent to my knowledge of fixing a car.  Both, apparently, come with hot flashes though.  So I Googled it.  Legit research.  Some women said they felt like this:
tina fey, snl

But mostly I expect to feel a constant amplified version of what you felt when you saw these cinematic nuggets that, now as an adult, you feel were completely inappropriate for young kids to see:
lion kingland before time
my girl

And maybe being a little overly sensitive:

So far the only thing I have experienced was during my drive to work today.  I was listening to the holiday station on my radio (shut up- I went shopping at Christmas Tree Shop last weekend and it went down hill from there).  Dean Martin's "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" came on.  So I'm listening and singing along and then about halfway through he starts just riffin' on this song.  So driving through Harvard Square I am yelling at my satellite radio station, "When in hell did we decide Santa has a German accent Dean!?!?  And who the hell are you to change the lyrics to "Rudy the Red Beaked Reindeer" you asshole.  You killed Christmas, Dean Martin.  You killed Christmas."

And then Nat King Cole's "Silent Night" came on and I cried me a (Charles) river.

1 comment:

  1. Clomid sucks! There really is no word to describe my level of hatred for that drug..