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Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Where Did This Angelic Baby Come From?: The 3 Month Turnaround

By Kate

Another mother told us that, if at any point in the first 3 months you don't think "I wanna throw this child out the window," that you're a liar.  We've mentioned here that no one ever tells you how hard parenting is (Screw You Folgers and Other Things That Make Me Cry & One Month In), but we want to say that IT. GETS. BETTER.  (Thanks gays for giving us this phrase)
The first months of being a parent + winter in Boston
When the baby knows
you're about to eat
The first three months really are a cyclical process of scream, eat, scream, poop, scream, sleep, scream. With the occasional "aww" moment when she falls asleep on you, open mouth breathing and delicately snoring.  That saved you, child.  Also, having a baby in the winter (more importantly the Winter of our Discontent in New England) is like a form of torture. Not to be over-dramatic, but there was a point that I would have given up government secrets to eat a hot meal in peace.  You're more tired than you ever
imagined you could possibly be and still have to be the most responsible person you will ever need to be.  You hear baby cries in in the sounds of a running dishwasher.  You have no idea what time it is except for when you are recording a diaper, a feeding or how long she slept.  Seriously. You will record more details about her movements that Jane Goodall did with her gorillas.  Sleep seems like a dream and you will feel like you're going a little crazy.  It. Gets. Better.

The morning after she slept through the night
3 months.  Just make it to three months.  I swear it felt like it happened overnight.  All of a sudden she sleeps more than 2 hours at a time.  She interacts and plays.  SHE SMILES AND COOS and you think, "Child, you better thank the Baby Jesus you learned how to smile because you were one tantrum away from me having a bald-headed Britney Spears breakdown."  She doesn't wake up screaming bloody murder and when she does you can solve it (95% of the time).  You start to feel like
you've done this for years and start balancing better with your spouse.  Don't forget your relationship matters too.  You will call in your spouse to look at a diaper chock full of poo and celebrate since it had been "longer than usual" since she pooped. But you should also make time to go have dinner. 

Meg's birthday is in March and I'm giving her/us a night in a hotel 5 miles from our house.  People ask if we will go out to see a show?  Hit up the Boston bars?  HELL NO.  We will have dinner at a sensible hour, go back to the hotel, watch HGTV and crash in a bed we don't have to make and a room we don't have to clean. And maybe not talk about poop for 12 hours.  Maybe.
Be strong y'all

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