"I'm squishing up a baby bumblebee" and other cruel children's songs

(Words by Meg & gifs by Kate)

Ella has recently shown a real interest in music. Kate's dad, Opa Chuck, sang German lullabies to Baby Girl when he was here and it got Kate thinking about songs from her childhood. One day she started singing a song that started off all sweet and innocent and ended in animal cruelty. 

80s Kate

Those of you born in the '80s might remember this little diddy:

I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee
Won't my Mommy be so proud of me
(Cup hands together as if holding bee)

I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee
Ouch, it stung me
(Shake one hand as if just stung you)

I'm squishing up a baby bumblebee
Won't my Mommy be so proud of me
('Squish' bee between palms of hands)

I'm squishing up a baby bumblebee
Squish, squish, squish
('Squish' bee between palms of hands)

Well, I for one did not remember this song and at least this Mommy would not be particularly proud of Ella for taking so much pleasure in killing a living thing, even if it is just a bee!
Anyway, we pulled out a CD of kid's songs produced sometime in the last few years and Kate was pleased to see "Baby Bumblebee" listed on the back. Turns out, I'm not the only Mommy who thought encouraging cruelty to animals (bugs?) was a little questionable for a children's song. The new, updated, politically correct version goes like this:

Who knew Girl Scouts would teach hate songs!

I'm picking up a baby bumblebee; Won't my mommy be so proud of me?

I'm picking up a baby bumblebee; Oh! It stung me!

I'm setting free my baby bumblebee; Won't my mommy be so proud of me?

(Yes, this Mommy would be so proud of you!)

Another example of updating a fairly offensive children's song is the revamp of "10 Little Indians." You know the one...

One little, two little, three little Indians

Four little, five little, six little Indians

Seven little, eight little, nine little Indians

Ten little Indian boys.

The lyrics to this song are apparently completely passé in the year 2015, and have been replaced with these new, completely innocuous lyrics, sung to the same tune:

Where, oh where, oh where is Susie?
Where, oh where, oh where is Susie?
Where, oh where, of where is Susie?
Way down yonder in the paw-paw patch.

For those of you who don't know, the paw-paw is a fruit indigenous to the United States. Singing about people indigenous to the US, not cool. Fruit, though...is just fine.

Side note: It's come to our attention recently that one can't  say "sitting Indian style" anymore. Sometime in the last 28 years it apparently changed to sitting "criss cross apple sauce." How will we sit when the apple sauce industry gets offended?

My, how things have changed.