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Friday, January 31, 2014

Reproductive Systems Be Like: Psych

So I got the call and it is a big fat negative.
What it feels like trying to get pregnant
We actually did feel like things were different this time.  And I think the nurses that have called me the last two times are thrown off that I don't break down into a Scarlet O'Hara type hot mess upon hearing the news.  I simply take a moment, suck back the tears and say, "Ok, what's our new game plan?"  I can cry when I'm in a dark, isolated, soundproof location like any emotionally repressed Catholic-raised person would do.  The nurse said that we will continue the Clomid plan and to call on the first day of my next cycle (let's pray another cyst hasn't formed).  I then brought up that I think, with the issues of PCOS
When you're reading a pregnancy
test and you think you see a +,
but it's like looking at one of those
pixelated paintings they had in the mall
that when your eyes crossed you saw
the 3D picture (which I lied b/c I could
NEVER see them).
and my irregular results from the OPK this cycle, that I would like to bring out bigger ammo.  So we are going to add on follicle monitoring (observing the growth and maturity of the follicles to pinpoint the right moment of ovulation instead of relying on a stick that I pee on) as well as a trigger shot.  Combined with the Clomid, the trigger shot 'tells' your body (it injects a massive does of HCG), "Listen Honey, you better release an egg or Kate's gonna go Jaoquin Phoenix crazy".  So... Next steps- wait for next cycle, call insurance to verify coverage again, day 3 take Clomid and start monitoring.  But- this also means I'm gonna have some new material for the blog, so that's the silver lining of today's news.  Inappropriate gifs will abound.

So yes, I am sad.

Yes, I am incredibly disappointed (both in the negative test results and in my body, which makes me feel like a failure for not working correctly).  But we must look forward, right?

And as for this weekend.. at least I can drink. Enough said.


  1. :( I'm so sorry! I also always feel better with a new plan in hand, although I went from the stoic phone call to the awkward sob phone call back to stoic shellshocked phone call, so whenever it feels right to cry the ugly cry I say just do it. The monitoring sounds like a good plan. Just to throw it out there, I also have PCOS and often women with PCOS are clomid-resistant and respond better to injectibles. However, that's more expensive than clomid of course, but I wanted to share that tidbit. I hope the monitoring does the trick! Enjoy the consolation booze...